Forbes has informed me that I have the worst Master’s degree in the country right now?  Does that come with a prize?  I’ll bet the Federal Government will still cash my student loan checks.  Here’s the thing—the “best” ones generally involve someone coughing in my face or me wiping their bedsores.  Noble, but only until Republicans can find a way to eliminate healthcare for the 99% entirely, at which point those jobs will become political appointments for former Fox News staffers.

And why does my degree suck?  Partially because the kids of the internet generation think that Google and Wikipedia (and the Daily Show) are all they need to survive.  And they think that growing up with this stuff made them information experts.

I love all three of those things I just mentioned.  But internet generation?  Studies show you suck and finding ANYTHING, including your ass with both hands.  You think Librarians are only in the library to tell you where the bathroom is?  Funny, that’s the same place where you wrote that shit paper you’re about to turn in.  Finding all your ‘sources’ in the first page of a Google search isn’t smart or efficient—it’s intellectually shallow and incredibly lazy.

And the power elite?  They LOVE the idea of you using fewer sources to get your information—makes it easier to snow you while you argue over which internet meme has jumped the shark.  They’ll be happy to spoon-feed you their version of whatever you were googling for, so you can spend your lives asleep.

The fact that a degree designed to help people find and use information to their best advantage is the worst in the nation tells you all you need to know about our pride in being an informed society and our overall level of intellectual curiosity.  But I’m still going to help you—not for the money, and certainly not because you have any appreciation of or understanding for what I do.  It’s what I believe in, and I’ll keep on doing it until you pry the finding aid from my cold dead hands.

And Forbes?  Kiss my access points.